Love, dating, or lack of it: an alternative millennial story


Here’s a confession for you: I’m in my (very) late 20s… And I’ve never dated. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never been in a relationship.  Those of you who know me are probably like, ‘well colour me shocked!’

I wish that I had some stories to share about my past experiences in love and heartbreak. To have them be funny, charming and full of bittersweet wisdom. But the truth is, I only have enough experience to make a few scribbles. The rest is still a blank chapter that’s yet to be filled.

I’ve been witness to friends and family members who have found love in their teens and 20s; they are either married, or very soon will be.  If they don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet, they probably will have one soon.

And then, there’s me: The perma-single. Forever the third wheel, forever showing up to family functions with no partner to smugly introduce. So single, in fact, that no one even bothers asking me if I’m seeing anyone. (I should probably be relieved.)

I should note that being single doesn’t necessarily bother me. I’ve been on my own for a good quarter of a century, and I’ve gotten this far without a SO just fine. I like that I have this time to learn about myself and to do the things I enjoy most, without compromising.

That being said, when you get this far with nothing more than a peck on the cheek*, and you see everyone paired up and happy (for the most part), you feel as though you’ve been missing out on something special. (That, and the romantic notions you were raised on as a kid have failed you.)

I could easily justify this based on my personality: at first glance I’m somewhat reserved, quiet, and not always willing to make the first move. (i.e.: A cute guy looks my way, and I…. turn to mush.) It’s followed me thorough high school, and despite having grown up since then, somewhere inside me that shy high school version of myself still lingers.

Putting oneself out there is tough; especially in this day and age, when everything is generally done through a screen; it’s only made worse when you are made to post appealing pictures of yourself and have to come up with cutesy/witty bios.

Which brings me to the online dating/phone dating apps: Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge, to name a few. I’ve never tried Hinge. Tinder I find trashy. As for Bumble, that’s where the woman gets to make the first move. It is filled with beautiful (and at times, shirtless) fellows who tend to write the same descriptions in their bios. I could dedicate a whole post to guys I come across on Bumble: ‘spider killer’. ‘Entrepreneur’. ‘Looking for the one.’ ‘Sports, travel and beer.’  And my favourite–‘Baby in the photo is my niece/nephew’.  Phew, for a second I thought it was actually yours! 

I have a love-hate relationship with Bumble. You swipe right, send out a friendly ‘hey!’ and if you’re lucky, you’ll get a response. When I don’t get responses after a few tries, that’s when I’m ready to throw in the towel. F*** this! This is app is stupid! I think. And then, no sooner than I delete it from my phone, I start to think, maybe I should give it another go? Ugh.

But really, I think it comes down to a matter of being in the right place and the right time. And right now–in my mind, at least–the timing still isn’t… Right. There are things I still need to sort out, both personally and externally, and those things have to be done on my own. That’s where my special ‘Saturn Return’ might come in handy!

Would I like to meet someone? Definitely. Will it happen through a dating app? I kind of hope not, but if it happens to work out, then I’ll be damned. Whatever the results may be, I trust that the Universe knows what its doing, and has my back.

In the words of Forrest Gump, “I don’t know if we have a destiny, or if we’re all just floatin’ around accidental-like on a breeze, but I think maybe it’s both. Maybe both is happenin’ at the same time.”

Having a limited dating/relationship experience should not make anyone feel less than adequate, and that’s why I chose to write about my own experience–or the lack of it!

And that’s all I got to say bout’ that.



*That peck on the cheek was a special something from an Italian boy I met for about five seconds while on a school trip in Italy. I was sixteen, and he wasn’t even that cute, but it MADE MY LIFE.


Top image from here, Forrest Gump GIF via GIPHY





Oh, hello! I didn’t see you there. Hope you weren’t waiting long. Happy 2018!

I have a love-hate relationship with this time of year. I love the fresh cold air, the short days, and the snow (when it’s dry). I love the prospect of the beginning of a new year, and having a fresh set of goals to accomplish in the new year. Oh, and hot dinners.

And hot chocolate.

On the other hand: I hate when the temperature rises above zero, which in turn makes things messy; that it takes forever to bundle up to go outside, and the abundance of germs everywhere. (Speaking of which, I’m on my third consecutive cold since November???! Seriously, am I that unhealthy?)

But I digress. My first accomplishment of 2018 was seeing the latest Star Wars flick on the big screen, and I’m so very glad I did.

So beautiful! Even the guard on the right can’t handle it.

(Ps: I may or may not be aboard the Reylo bandwagon. #OopsdIjustadmitthat?)

Now to other things I want to do before the year is up! One is to visit The Infinity Mirrors exhibit at the AGO. In short, it is the craziest/most gorgeous looking art exhibit by Yayoi Kusama. I knew that when it eventually came to Toronto, I would want to see it. And see it I will. (And Instagram it I definitely will.)


The other thing is the Christian Dior exhibit at the ROM. If there’s one thing I’ve ever wanted to experience in life, it’s got to be 1) wearing a spectacular vintage gown or 2) be within reaching distance of one. Preferably the former, but this exhibit will do!

And because my vintage clothing obsession doesn’t end with Dior, I also hope to visit the Toronto Vintage Clothing Show this March. Then I’ll really be up close and personal with vintage finds. And just maaaaybe I’ll be taking something home.

I can’t think of much else, other than that I want to/should write more, and take more photos. And skate this winter. I’ve said that every winter, and have yet to do it.

Suddenly, it just hit me that I’ve found my 2018 theme: Just do it. So, I shall!

To end things on a musical note, I watched Fiddler on the Roof for the first time last week. Lovely film with great music, but the Matchmaker song has been stuck in my head for a week. Now it’s your turn.


Image from here, Dior image from here,

It’s beginning to look a lot like…


Yes, that’s the first snow of the season. Magic!

It now feels like we’ve reached peak Christmas, because there’s nothing in the world that compliments colourful Christmas lights and decorations more so than a blanket of white fluff.

The dog clearly loves it.

My Christmas shopping is (mostly) complete, so now it’s down to the final touches. And festive baking! So much baking. And so much eating to come.


Started out with this….

IMG_0431.jpgWhile getting a tad distracted (because baking while having old movies on in the background is a unique pastime of mine)….

But I finished them eventually.

IMG_0428At least, not until the end of the movie. (Slightly Dangerous, if you’re wondering)

As of this past Friday, I’ve been riding the wings of Meatloaf tunes, because I saw the Bat out of Hell musical. It was actually pretty good! If not a little strange in terms of the plot line. But still, very admirably 70s/80s’ rock. The lead performer was especially good, because his singing was actually suited for the rock music, and didn’t have the typical broadway singing voice.

Other things of note:

  • Don’t film a drone over a Renaissance festival or this will happen.
  • A week from today, it’s Doctor Who day! (I may or may not cry when 12 regenerates.)
  • The new Star Wars movie!! I may have to quit using Twitter until I see it because spoilers are jumping out from around the corners on me.
  • Another lovely year end tribute from TCM.

ALSO, because I am (for once) shameless, I started using Wattpad to publish some ridiculous stories I’ve had bopping around my head. READ MY FIRST STORY HERE. (ps: be gentle, it’s still a work in progress…!!)

If I don’t get back here later this week for my round of ‘thoughts’ or whatnot, enjoy listening to Bat out of Hell. (ps: get a load of that overture!)

Thoughts on a Monday

Taken by me, last summer on my good camera.
  • Hello, I’m here on a Monday!
  • I may have to do this more frequently, if my Fridays are going to keep me busy.
  • Mondays will be a bit busy too, but I might have enough time and energy to drop by in the afternoon.
  • I got back from a ballet class after a month off, and I never felt so… Intermediate.
  • My beats and entrechats are a mess.
  • Right now, anyway, because I haven’t been practicing much this summer.
  • Oops.
  • Still debating about whether to go through with the RAD Advanced Foundation training.
  • For now, yes, but as to whether I will actually do it…?
  • It’s a big commitment.
  • Two more years of my life, training for something where I might only earn a pass.
  • Which is what I got on my most recent exam.
  • And the exam before. Which is ok…. Sort of.
  • Unless I work super duper hard for a higher mark.
  • But I might have other things to do.
  • However, our marks also depend on how seasoned the examiner is.
  • That makes a difference.
  • Our examiner was definitely seasoned.
  • Same with the examiner I had before for my Intermediate Foundation exam, but after this recent exam, I never thought I would have an appreciation for the other examiner.
  • Go figure.
  • But oh boy, those entrechats.
  • It’s not so much about the calves beating together, but the inner thighs.
  • Look here to see what I’m talking about.
  • They’re like delicate little butterflies.
  • On your feet.
  • That’s just what they remind me of.
  • So, today’s news tells me that The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting no. 3.
  • Well well! That’s some pleasant news.
  • I guess they decided to wait until after the anniversary of Princess Diana’s passing.
  • It’s very interesting, looking back on it all.
  • Same with reflecting on how it affects us today.
  • I mean, I was only seven when it happened, and even though I didn’t understand the events leading up to her death, I do remember how significant it all felt, and the huge sense of loss for everyone.
  • There was so much to that woman that none of us knew or understood.
  • She was incredibly complex, and had a rather sad life.
  • But never the less, she had a heart of gold.
  • I end this post with a song I found through a TCM promo video. Who ever compiles the clips together and finds the music to accompany them is brilliant.

Thoughts on a Friday

Flowers in the garden.
  • Happy Friday!
  • I’ve spent the better part of this week trying to regain my voice.
  • Not like, in terms of confidence-building (though that would be great), but my actual voice.
  • Because, laryngitis.
  • I’ve had it since Sunday, and it’s only started to sound normal today.
  •  That voice you hear inside your head when you read this is the voice I happen to speak with.
  • Let that sink in.
  • The last time I caught laryngitis I think was in 2009.
  • The time before that was…. Grade 10.
  • Pretty sure I can remember each laryngitis bout I’ve had.
  • But I digress.
  • Last week was a week of kiddies, noisiness, and mess.
  • I think I caught my illness from one of the said-kiddies, aka my niece and nephew.
  • But that’s ok.
  • When they live far away and aren’t able to visit often, I will accept.
  • Sort of.
  • But right now, I’m just enjoying the quiet and cleanliness, while they are off in England with their parents for the next week or so.
  • This week I got my hair done at a curly hair-catered salon.
  • Best decision I ever made.
  • Suddenly, everything just became clearer for me.
  • My hair is no longer a lost cause, now that I know the right techniques to styling it.
  • Simple, so simple.
  • Weekend plans include, work, ballet class and Chinese food.
  • And possibly giving myself a pedicure.
  • But that is usually best left to the professionals.
  • I’ve only had a few professional pedicures in my life, and I’ve always found them strange.
  • Relaxing yes, but strange.
  • Having someone dealing with your feet….
  • Possibly the least appealing (outer) extremities on the body to work with.
  • Poor things.
  • Clearly, I need to get more pedicures.
  • But maybe not if I’m doing pointe work.
  • 😬
  • In that case, time to brush up on my home-pedicures!
  • My final thought of the day is a quote from Marcus Aurelius.
  • “You have power over your mind–not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

30 Day movie challenge: Day 1

So, I’m taking this directly from Twitter. It’s basically a questionnaire that you answer every day for 30 days about movies you’ve seen, and so forth. I thought it sounded like a fun thing to try. Plus, it gives me an excuse to get on here more frequently. So, here goes!

Your favourite movie


I would have to say… The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Not only is it an all around gorgeous film, it has everything I need to know about life. Everything. Plus, it takes me through the glorious fashions of the various decades.

But, since I can’t just choose one, I would also have to go along with A Matter of Life and Death, or The Trouble With Angels.

Image from here

Thoughts on a Friday

Springtime crocuses in the garden
  • Sometimes it’s hard to concentrate.
  • Especially if there is a vast internet landscape before you.
  • I’ve had my computer away from me for the past two days to get its battery replaced and now I’m just drinking everything in.
  • Remember a time before the internet?
  • I do.
  • Vaguely.
  • All that spare time I had as a kid!
  • Filled with reading, barbies, outdoor activities and colouring books.
  • If I were an adult in the 90s, I’d probably be bored to tears.
  • Or so I’d like to think.
  • But I would probably be too busy living a life to be lured by the sirens of the web.
  • Which, as a matter of fact, wasn’t even spectacular back then.
  • No youtube, no netflix, no social media…
  • Dull, dull, dull.
  • According to something I watched recently (online of course), Generation Z (the ones following Millennials) is the first group to not remember a time before the internet.
  • How about that.
  • In a way, they’re kind of lucky.
  • I didn’t even know there was a generation following “The Greatest Generation”.
  • Didn’t even cross my mind, because I just assumed they were lumped in together.
  • But no!
  • From about 1926 onwards to 1945, they were the “Traditionalists,” or the “Silent Generation.”
  • Makes sense, I suppose.
  • My maternal grandma was in that demographic.
  • Even more shocking was that I discovered no one from the Silent Generation has/had ever been elected president.
  • Alright, so the thing I watched recently was American.
  • Can’t say the same thing about Canadian Prime Ministers, however.
  • And I did a quick background check to make sure this was true.
  • Off-hand question: When you pipe in during a conversation (not interrupting), and the other person tells you they weren’t talking to you… Is it rude?
  •  This happened to me the other day. I’d explain the situation, but it’s slightly complex.
  • The alleged person wasn’t very nice about it, either.
  • But I brushed it off.
  • Mostly.
  • I didn’t think I was being rude by chiming in, but maybe it wasn’t an appropriate time.
  • Or maybe they were just grumpy.
  • At times I wish I were more of a chatty/outgoing person, but incidents like this one gives me all the more reason to just not say anything.
  • Forever.
  • Maybe I’m just sensitive.
  • No, I’m definitely sensitive.
  • So I shall leave it at that.
  • I want a chocolate.
  • There’s still Easter candy sitting by me that’s waiting to be devoured.
  • But first, the dogs must be walked.
  • Time to take off.
  • So, here’s this week’s music: take it away, MJ!