Love, dating, or lack of it: an alternative millennial story


Here’s a confession for you: I’m in my (very) late 20s… And I’ve never dated. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never been in a relationship.  Those of you who know me are probably like, ‘well colour me shocked!’

I wish that I had some stories to share about my past experiences in love and heartbreak. To have them be funny, charming and full of bittersweet wisdom. But the truth is, I only have enough experience to make a few scribbles. The rest is still a blank chapter that’s yet to be filled.

I’ve been witness to friends and family members who have found love in their teens and 20s; they are either married, or very soon will be.  If they don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet, they probably will have one soon.

And then, there’s me: The perma-single. Forever the third wheel, forever showing up to family functions with no partner to smugly introduce. So single, in fact, that no one even bothers asking me if I’m seeing anyone. (I should probably be relieved.)

I should note that being single doesn’t necessarily bother me. I’ve been on my own for a good quarter of a century, and I’ve gotten this far without a SO just fine. I like that I have this time to learn about myself and to do the things I enjoy most, without compromising.

That being said, when you get this far with nothing more than a peck on the cheek*, and you see everyone paired up and happy (for the most part), you feel as though you’ve been missing out on something special. (That, and the romantic notions you were raised on as a kid have failed you.)

I could easily justify this based on my personality: at first glance I’m somewhat reserved, quiet, and not always willing to make the first move. (i.e.: A cute guy looks my way, and I…. turn to mush.) It’s followed me thorough high school, and despite having grown up since then, somewhere inside me that shy high school version of myself still lingers.

Putting oneself out there is tough; especially in this day and age, when everything is generally done through a screen; it’s only made worse when you are made to post appealing pictures of yourself and have to come up with cutesy/witty bios.

Which brings me to the online dating/phone dating apps: Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge, to name a few. I’ve never tried Hinge. Tinder I find trashy. As for Bumble, that’s where the woman gets to make the first move. It is filled with beautiful (and at times, shirtless) fellows who tend to write the same descriptions in their bios. I could dedicate a whole post to guys I come across on Bumble: ‘spider killer’. ‘Entrepreneur’. ‘Looking for the one.’ ‘Sports, travel and beer.’  And my favourite–‘Baby in the photo is my niece/nephew’.  Phew, for a second I thought it was actually yours! 

I have a love-hate relationship with Bumble. You swipe right, send out a friendly ‘hey!’ and if you’re lucky, you’ll get a response. When I don’t get responses after a few tries, that’s when I’m ready to throw in the towel. F*** this! This is app is stupid! I think. And then, no sooner than I delete it from my phone, I start to think, maybe I should give it another go? Ugh.

But really, I think it comes down to a matter of being in the right place and the right time. And right now–in my mind, at least–the timing still isn’t… Right. There are things I still need to sort out, both personally and externally, and those things have to be done on my own. That’s where my special ‘Saturn Return’ might come in handy!

Would I like to meet someone? Definitely. Will it happen through a dating app? I kind of hope not, but if it happens to work out, then I’ll be damned. Whatever the results may be, I trust that the Universe knows what its doing, and has my back.

In the words of Forrest Gump, “I don’t know if we have a destiny, or if we’re all just floatin’ around accidental-like on a breeze, but I think maybe it’s both. Maybe both is happenin’ at the same time.”

Having a limited dating/relationship experience should not make anyone feel less than adequate, and that’s why I chose to write about my own experience–or the lack of it!

And that’s all I got to say bout’ that.



*That peck on the cheek was a special something from an Italian boy I met for about five seconds while on a school trip in Italy. I was sixteen, and he wasn’t even that cute, but it MADE MY LIFE.


Top image from here, Forrest Gump GIF via GIPHY


Thursday thoughts

Eating mulberries in Shakespeare’s garden, Stratford-Upon-Avon, 1928
  • And the revelations keep on coming.
  • Every morning when I turn on the news, I find myself thinking, “who’s next?”
  • At this point, it could be anyone.
  • It’s baffling.
  • Although not necessarily surprising?
  • The Onion is having a field day with all these emerging allegations.
  • It’s also kind of upsetting, especially when it’s a person who you thought was decent.
  • Still waiting for Donald Trump’s turn.
  • That guy…
  • Iced Peppermint Mocha dreams fulfilled as of this week.
  • And the week before.
  • Chocolatey, minty goodness.
  • Although not enough whipped cream on my last to satisfy me.
  • But oh well!
  • If that doesn’t suffice, a Krispy Kreme donut will.
  • To have even half of one would be dangerous.
  • Oops, too late.
  • Dangerously delicious.
  • I hate the word delicious.
  • Especially when used to describe something that is not food.
  • Never, ever do that in my presence.
  • It’s the end of November.
  • What?…. Where did it go…??
  • It was the end of Halloween, and now it’s not.
  • Sad!
  • But then again, the Month of Merry will be upon us.
  • Have you ever heard of a Return to Saturn?
  • Unless you’re a real astrology buff, the answer is likely no.
  • I’d never heard of it before either… Until last week or so.
  • Apparently it happens. Every 29.5 years or so, the planet Saturn returns to the astrological house that you were born into and stirs up enough personal shit to make it feel as if you’re going through puberty again.
  • If you’re turning 29 within the next year, like I am, it’s fast approaching.
  • Timing is everything, isn’t it?
  • All I had to do was a bit of research as to when mine is due, and OH GOD IT’S RETURNING THIS DECEMBER.
  • My ass is going to be kicked by an invisible astrological entity.
  • For two years.
  • But perhaps some good will come out of it.
  • Hey, James Cameron’s Titanic turned twenty this month!
  • Questions still linger about that movie.
  • Namely, why Rose wasn’t able to make room for Jack on that floating door.
  • Or better yet…. Did Rose actually die at the end of the movie?
  • Likely yes, but that’s been up for debate.
  • It’s still a shame she dropped the necklace into the ocean.
  • That thing was worth a fortune, dammit!
  • You know what also came out this month in 1942?
  • Casablanca.
  • Ingrid Bergman was luminous.
  • And on that note, I sign off!
  • But not before I leave you with this other Journey song I’ve been listening to lately.
  • There’s no cheesy video to accompany it, as far as I know, but it doesn’t need it.
  • Thank goodness.


Top image from here

Thoughts on a Friday


  • My favourite time of the year is hanging on a bit longer.
  • I miss doing these on Fridays.
  • So much more interesting than on Tuesdays.
  • These are the days nostalgia is made of.
  • Next time someone suspends Donald Trump’s Twitter account, I hope it’s permanent.
  • One can dream.
  • I never knew I needed a Noirvember nickname until now.
  • You may now refer to me as Margot Savage until December 1st.
  • *Seductively takes a long draw on a non-existent cigarette*
  • *coughs*
  • I thought about doing Nanowrimo this year….
  • …. But decided not to.
  • I started with 600 or so words, but then I lost motivation.
  • I already have three (unfinished) stories on the go.
  • Lost in the sands of Nanowrimo past.
  • I better start writing… Something.
  • Now that Halloween is over, I’m waiting impatiently for those terrible Christmas tv specials to start.
  • Not until after Remembrance Day, which is acceptable.
  • I don’t know why, but I’m really looking forward to seeing them on tv again.
  • Even when they’re overly saccharine, over the top Christmas-y, and filled with too-beautiful-to-be-true people who just can’t seem to get their shit together in their love lives.
  • L’amour, l’amour.
  • It’s getting cold.
  • To state the obvious.
  • Unless you’re in Australia, where it is no doubt blissfully warm.
  • Lucky you.
  • G’day.
  • No fair, it’s Saturday tomorrow.
  • I can’t sleep in.
  • Time change is on Sunday and I can’t do much sleeping in then either.
  • Because, work.
  • I really want a new camera.
  • And I really want to visit Los Angeles.
  • This has been brewing for some time.
  • SO much want, and not enough buy.
  • So I will end things here, on a Girl Hunt Ballet note.
  • Since I can’t find any decent music.
  • So, this will do!
  • Be good and enjoy the weekend, peeps.

“… Illusions of someday, casting a golden light”

I can’t say that I was ever a fan of the Tragically Hip. Proud Canadian I am, but never one to listen to their music.

I’ve heard their songs on the radio for years, but they never fully resonated with me. At least, not until last year, through the tragic circumstances of Gord Downie’s cancer diagnosis. But isn’t that always the case? Only through these kind of situations do we really start to understand a person. Once I started to learn more about Gord Downie and who he was, the more I could see how much of an influence and impact he had on Canadian culture. And with the incredible things he accomplished this past year on borrowed time, especially with his work on The Hidden Path (while bringing to light a dark subject about Canada’s treatment of Aboriginal children) it says a lot about who he was as a person. 

The song Ahead by a Century has a lot more meaning to me now for some reason. I don’t know if it’s because the lyrics strike a chord (so to speak) with me as a person today, or if it’s just because of Downie’s impact, but either way it’s something special. There’s a quote floating around somewhere that Downie was to have said, about creating music to bring people together.

This Choir Choir Choir! clip, although a few years old now, is a perfect example. (PS: No one can put together a musical tribute better than them.)

Thursday rambles

Throw back to four years ago when I went on a photo assignment to Todmorden Mills as a journalism student
  • It actually and finally feels like October.
  • Gosh, I love this month.
  • What a glorious time of the year.
  • Minus the rain and gloom.
  • Which makes everything so much more colourful.
  • Lots of things happen in the fall.
  • Steeped in nostalgia.
  • Even more so than the summer.
  • Time to buy some candles.
  • Who am I kidding? I never buy candles.
  • But it’s tempting to start.
  • In other news, Twitter depresses me.
  • Why do I have it again?
  • Oh, to live tweet classic movies.
  • And to shake my head at whatever stupid thing POTUS is doing/saying next.
  • But mainly to tweet about classic movies.
  • About the only thing worth keeping Twitter for.
  • Almost.
  • Speaking of classic movies, I finally watched Cat People last night on TCM.
  • It’s got an excellent creep factor, and the camera shots are phenomenal.
  • Like this scene.
  • Which in turn, reminds me of this scene. (Totally different movie, by the way, but it’s great.)
  • I was, however, hoping for more… Cat people.
  • Also, I love the 1940s-ness about it.
  • But that comes as little surprise.
  • The more news I hear coming out of Hollywood, the more messed up I find it really to be.
  • It’s always been a messed up business, but ugh.
  • Nor is it shocking to hear about gross pervs using their privilege and power against actors.
  • Harvey Weinstein was one, and there are certainly more to follow.
  • I hope more women (and men) speak up about this.
  • Because the silence that once ensured these men protection and the preservation of their good name no longer exists.
  • I appreciate what Rose Marie had to say.

Screen Shot 2017-10-12 at 2.11.03 PM

  • Young Kurt Russell was a babe.
  • And he still is a babe.
  • Sorry, just taking a Pinterest break.
  • An excellent diversion, because I’m done thinking about this Weinstein crap.
  • Pinterest is a good escape from reality when youtube doesn’t cut it.
  • Ellen DeGeneres tickets.
  • 12 Days of Giveaways.
  • I always thought you had to get tickets waaaaay in advance, but apparently not?
  • I guess I know what I’ll be doing in the next few weeks.
  • Nolite te bastardes carborundorum
  • In other words, don’t let the bastards grind you down.
  • Thanks, Handmaid’s Tale.

Thoughts on an autumn equinox Friday

I only wish the weather matched this picture.
  • I celebrate this first day of fall by drinking–not a pumpkin spiced-coffee drink as one might think–but an Ice Cappuccino.
  • It’s almost 30 degrees outside, and I’m appalled.
  • But at the same time, still being able to wear shorts is glorious.
  • But I’m ready for cooler weather.
  • Like, really.
  • Now my Ice Cap has made me feel chilled.
  • And you know what other season it’s almost time for?
  • Sweater weather.
  • No.
  • Well yes, but not that.
  • Libra season!!!
  • The next best thing after Valentine’s Day.
  • Good thing Valentine’s Day isn’t in the fall.
  • Librans would go love-crazy.
  • And in turn make everyone else crazy.
  • But it would be beautiful, no?
  • “It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it matters only that you love.”
  • Thank you, fellow Libra John Lennon.
  • We live in uncertain and scary times, but at the very least, there still is love.
  • And kindness.
  • You don’t often hear or see it in the news, but it’s there.
  • There’s no easy way of stepping around the current events happening in the world, but as Mr. Rogers said, look for the helpers.
  • Thinking about this makes me feel better about humans.
  • We may be wreaking havoc on the planet, but at the very least there are people trying to change things.
  • Did you know spiders have tiny, fuzzy lil paws?
  • I bet you wish you didn’t know now.
  • Sorry, arachnophobes.
  • But oh my, they could almost be considered cute.
  • I must sign off here, because I have to make dinner.
  • Something with chicken, if you must know.
  • I leave you with my theme for September, courtesy of Donavan.

Image from here